As of today, I not only have this very bitchy blog, I also have a sexyfine website, built by yours truly. I nearly have myself a brain explosion last night trying to get it online, but it's now finished and I can sit back and bask in the snugness for ten minutes before going back to work on the current novella.
There's not a whole lot on the website yet, because I don't have cover images, publication dates or any edited excerpts to post. So instead I stuffed it full of pictures of gorgeous, half-naked men, which I hope will do in the meantime.
Yay! Half naked hotties!
That's good enough for me.
Friday 26 February 2010
Wednesday 24 February 2010
Stubborn Stories
And by stubborn I don't mean bad, or even necessarily ones that get stuck in the middle. I just mean...ones that have a mind of their own.
Writers sometimes talk about characters that have a mind of their own. This can be great fun, as when, for example, one of my characters put her foot down about the fiery climactic ending of her story and insisted on a quiet, clever ending of perfect poetic justice instead. And I'm serious, that ending wasn't even on my radar. I wanted fire! Death! Blood! But none of that would have been as good as what happened just by following the character's path. And I'm intensely proud of that ending now.
Sometimes characters having a life of their own can be bad: witness one particular story which is not and might never be finished because one of the lead characters just didn't seem right no matter what I did. She was fighting me, but not in the good way. I went back and rewrote her a million times, determined to make her what I needed her to be, but no matter how I changed her entrance or her origin story, she always ended up being a stubborn, pain in the butt b*tch. She made it so hard to write that my frustration with her drew in the other characters and the plot, and ended in a giant tangle which I still haven't figured out how to fix.
But what I'm really talking about here is stories that have their own lives. The story I'm working on now was supposed to be about ghosts. And possibly fate. And then suddenly it wasn't. Suddenly it was about modern day witchcraft, lovers that are something more than human, and following dreams. Where did it come from? I had characters and events planned, which are still more or less unchanged, but the crux, the spirit, the feeling of the story just grew up around those on its own, completely unexpectedly.
And it's not just the themes of the story that have switched around on me. I can feel this one growing too. Imagine having hold of a small, thin little grass snake that's coiled calmly around your hand. Then suddenly it starts to struggle and whip around fiercely while simultaneously growing to the size of a boa constrictor. That's how hanging onto this story feels. It doesn't want to be a short story. It wants to be a novel.
The problem is: is can't be. I'm writing m/m fiction in the little gap before I really, really need to get to work on my next novel (which I'm writing under my other name, and no, still not telling). I intend to carry on writing m/m stories, and I might even try for a novel at some point, but I'm going to need to concentrate on the new novel exclusively for a little while when I start, and that means I need to get this m/m story finished. And preferably in another week or two. I don't have time to write an m/m novel now. I don't even want to - part of the joy of m/m fiction and publishing online is that you can feel free to write stories that are short and perfect and polished. For me, writing short stories is like writing almost for pure fun. It takes away 90% of my stress and angst to know that I won't still be labouring away on the same story in a year's time (and it does normally take between a year and eighteen months for me to finish a novel).
So I need to be really strict, put my foot down, and stay to this stubborn story, Hey, it's great to meet you, and I love what you did with the selkie thing there, but no, you don't get to be a novel length story. You have to be around 20,000 words long. Maybe 25,000. That's it. Sorry. No more. Look, stop crying now, it's embarrassing. Eat a cookie. There, there.
And then I have to hope that the story will work with me, and not end up in a Gordian Knot, because, really, deep inside, the stubborn ones are the ones I'm the fondest of, and I'd hate not to get to finish this.
Writers sometimes talk about characters that have a mind of their own. This can be great fun, as when, for example, one of my characters put her foot down about the fiery climactic ending of her story and insisted on a quiet, clever ending of perfect poetic justice instead. And I'm serious, that ending wasn't even on my radar. I wanted fire! Death! Blood! But none of that would have been as good as what happened just by following the character's path. And I'm intensely proud of that ending now.
Sometimes characters having a life of their own can be bad: witness one particular story which is not and might never be finished because one of the lead characters just didn't seem right no matter what I did. She was fighting me, but not in the good way. I went back and rewrote her a million times, determined to make her what I needed her to be, but no matter how I changed her entrance or her origin story, she always ended up being a stubborn, pain in the butt b*tch. She made it so hard to write that my frustration with her drew in the other characters and the plot, and ended in a giant tangle which I still haven't figured out how to fix.
But what I'm really talking about here is stories that have their own lives. The story I'm working on now was supposed to be about ghosts. And possibly fate. And then suddenly it wasn't. Suddenly it was about modern day witchcraft, lovers that are something more than human, and following dreams. Where did it come from? I had characters and events planned, which are still more or less unchanged, but the crux, the spirit, the feeling of the story just grew up around those on its own, completely unexpectedly.
And it's not just the themes of the story that have switched around on me. I can feel this one growing too. Imagine having hold of a small, thin little grass snake that's coiled calmly around your hand. Then suddenly it starts to struggle and whip around fiercely while simultaneously growing to the size of a boa constrictor. That's how hanging onto this story feels. It doesn't want to be a short story. It wants to be a novel.
The problem is: is can't be. I'm writing m/m fiction in the little gap before I really, really need to get to work on my next novel (which I'm writing under my other name, and no, still not telling). I intend to carry on writing m/m stories, and I might even try for a novel at some point, but I'm going to need to concentrate on the new novel exclusively for a little while when I start, and that means I need to get this m/m story finished. And preferably in another week or two. I don't have time to write an m/m novel now. I don't even want to - part of the joy of m/m fiction and publishing online is that you can feel free to write stories that are short and perfect and polished. For me, writing short stories is like writing almost for pure fun. It takes away 90% of my stress and angst to know that I won't still be labouring away on the same story in a year's time (and it does normally take between a year and eighteen months for me to finish a novel).
So I need to be really strict, put my foot down, and stay to this stubborn story, Hey, it's great to meet you, and I love what you did with the selkie thing there, but no, you don't get to be a novel length story. You have to be around 20,000 words long. Maybe 25,000. That's it. Sorry. No more. Look, stop crying now, it's embarrassing. Eat a cookie. There, there.
And then I have to hope that the story will work with me, and not end up in a Gordian Knot, because, really, deep inside, the stubborn ones are the ones I'm the fondest of, and I'd hate not to get to finish this.
Monday 22 February 2010
Status Check
Okay. I'm a newbie m/m author - so new that I'd never tried to write an m/m story (not even slash fic) until January this year. So it's nearly the end of February now and I'm just going to do a little status check
M/m novelette Love Bites (about a man who has long suppressed his bisexuality and what happens when he 'comes out' to his best friend) was completed and submitted to Torquere Press 26/1/2010.
M/m novella And is Never Shaken (concerning immortal love, classical music and reincarnation) was completed and submitted to Dreamspinner Press 08/02/2010.
Love Bites was accepted by Torquere Press as a Single Shot on 15/02/2010. Contact now signed.
And is Never Shaken was accepted by Dreamspinner Press 19/02/2010. Contract now signed.
So far, so good.
Stuff I'm waiting to hear about:
M/m novella Ruby Slippers (featuring Ethan and Jamie from Love Bites as secondary characters and telling the story of a police officer and a drag queen) completed and submitted to Dreamspinner Press 21/02/2010.
Stuff I haven't submitted yet:
Short m/m story Precious Possession (about a relationship that goes wrong and how some ghostly intervention saves it) which I intend to send for Dreamspinner's 'A Midsummer Night's Nightmare' anthology, but haven't yet because I don't want to flood them.
Stuff I'm still working on:
Another m/m story (which may turn out to be a novelette, but feels more like a novella) called Red Sky at Night which is actually set in the UK (my first!) and concerns...I dunno, maybe ghosts or something, possibly fate. Lots of sea imagery. Not sure yet.
Huh. Looking pretty good there. Slightly concerned that I need to perhaps look at other publishers through, or else Torquere and Dreamspinner are going to be getting sick of me, at the rate I'm putting stuff out. I'll make a decision on that when I finish Red Sky.
M/m novelette Love Bites (about a man who has long suppressed his bisexuality and what happens when he 'comes out' to his best friend) was completed and submitted to Torquere Press 26/1/2010.
M/m novella And is Never Shaken (concerning immortal love, classical music and reincarnation) was completed and submitted to Dreamspinner Press 08/02/2010.
Love Bites was accepted by Torquere Press as a Single Shot on 15/02/2010. Contact now signed.
And is Never Shaken was accepted by Dreamspinner Press 19/02/2010. Contract now signed.
So far, so good.
Stuff I'm waiting to hear about:
M/m novella Ruby Slippers (featuring Ethan and Jamie from Love Bites as secondary characters and telling the story of a police officer and a drag queen) completed and submitted to Dreamspinner Press 21/02/2010.
Stuff I haven't submitted yet:
Short m/m story Precious Possession (about a relationship that goes wrong and how some ghostly intervention saves it) which I intend to send for Dreamspinner's 'A Midsummer Night's Nightmare' anthology, but haven't yet because I don't want to flood them.
Stuff I'm still working on:
Another m/m story (which may turn out to be a novelette, but feels more like a novella) called Red Sky at Night which is actually set in the UK (my first!) and concerns...I dunno, maybe ghosts or something, possibly fate. Lots of sea imagery. Not sure yet.
Huh. Looking pretty good there. Slightly concerned that I need to perhaps look at other publishers through, or else Torquere and Dreamspinner are going to be getting sick of me, at the rate I'm putting stuff out. I'll make a decision on that when I finish Red Sky.
Sunday 21 February 2010
The Bane of my Existence
Godammit. What is with my emails?
For some reason my Outlook account is refusing to let me send any emails to one of the publishers that I've contracted a story to. They can email me, but all my emails to them (and I've tried various email addresses) get returned by a the mail administrator as rejected by a remote server (whatever the crap that means).
I've got a different email account with GMX, which is the email I use for this blog as it happens, and I've managed to return the contract to the publisher using that. But when I attempted to send a submission to them through that second account (Ruby Slippers, the one I've just finished) it apparently didn't download correctly for them.
WHY ME/NOW? Argh.
I know I'm just rambling to myself here, but if the Cyber Gods would hear me and answer my prayer by fixing this, I would be forever grateful.
For some reason my Outlook account is refusing to let me send any emails to one of the publishers that I've contracted a story to. They can email me, but all my emails to them (and I've tried various email addresses) get returned by a the mail administrator as rejected by a remote server (whatever the crap that means).
I've got a different email account with GMX, which is the email I use for this blog as it happens, and I've managed to return the contract to the publisher using that. But when I attempted to send a submission to them through that second account (Ruby Slippers, the one I've just finished) it apparently didn't download correctly for them.
WHY ME/NOW? Argh.
I know I'm just rambling to myself here, but if the Cyber Gods would hear me and answer my prayer by fixing this, I would be forever grateful.
Thursday 18 February 2010
And is Never Shaken...
Well, I got up this morning to find an email from Dreamspinner Press with a contract attached to it! These e-publishers really do work incredibly fast. So this means that my second m/m story, And is Never Shaken, now has a publisher too. Exciting!
Here's my own little synopsis of the story, which is novella length (22,000 words) although of course that might go up or down if we do any editorial work.
I need to print the contract, sign it and get it back to them, which is where living in a different country is kind of annoying, but hopefully airmail will get it there fairly quickly.
Now I just need to finish my third m/m story and decide who to submit it to...
Here's my own little synopsis of the story, which is novella length (22,000 words) although of course that might go up or down if we do any editorial work.
And is Never Shaken is the story of Cassian Ford, a successful writer and English Professor in his forties, who lost the boy he believed to be the love of his life as a teenager. When he sees that boy - apparently reborn - walking past him one day on the street, he attempts to pursue him.
But Andy, the twenty-two year old man in question, doesn't believe in reincarnation. He feels a deep connection to Cassian, but he wants to be loved for himself, not resemblance to a dead man, and Cassian has to prove that it's Andy he really wants before they can have a hope of a relationship.
I need to print the contract, sign it and get it back to them, which is where living in a different country is kind of annoying, but hopefully airmail will get it there fairly quickly.
Now I just need to finish my third m/m story and decide who to submit it to...
The Big No-No
Just a quick post this morning before I head to the office.
I'm about halfway through my third m/m short story now. I'm getting to the point where everything's so good between the two heroes that something awful now has to happen. I call this the Big No-No. So far everything I've written in this genre has a moment like this - a place where misunderstandings or bad choices separate the characters, forcing them to face up to their shit. It's written to be sad, heart-rending, perhaps a little infuriating and most of all, inevitable.
But has anyone else noticed that many m/m stories don't HAVE these moments? Some m/m stories just seem to involve two hot guys meeting, dating, having sex three or four times and then deciding to stay together? I guess these would technically be 'slice of life' stories, that instead of following a dramatic structure just aim to give a snapshot of someone's existence...except that slice of life stories wouldn't generally be tied up in a neat little bow at the end like most of these stories are.
Some stories - like for example Vic Winter's 'Cinnamon Buns' which I just read - really make this work by making it about the slice of life, showing us the hero changing, learning a new job and finally falling in love. There doesn't need to be a dramatic No-No because that's not what the story is about. It's about a journey, not about the relationship itself.
But sometimes when you read an m/m story which refuses to depict any conflict, any tough choices, any real emotional depth...doesn't it all feel a little pointless? Like you're reading a piece of fanfiction specifically written to display two character's hotness without actually revealing anything new about them because we all already know everything there is to know about Harry/Draco, Aragorn/Legolas etc. already? Except this isn't fanfiction.
Stories like these have everything go right for the hero and hero, no matter what. Often the characters are presented with what should be tough situations, but they breeze through without a blink, without any internal questioning, purely to show how wonderful and perfect they are. If someone opposes them, that person will be a one dimensional bigot. If someone gets in their way that person will be crazy or evil. Black and white. And any other characters in the story (who aren't the one dimensional bigots) will always agree to just how wonderful they are as well.
I know why these stories get published. It's the same reason I've managed to get interest from an e-publisher so quickly. Demand for m/m stories is huge and still growing. If you write reasonably well (grammatically, engagingly) you can probably get published, because editors need more stories than they're actually getting. But doesn't this high demand mean that promising authors who should be developing their craft, learning their trade, getting strong editorial feedback, even getting rejected and trying hard to improve their work so it doesn't happen again - instead think that their Mary-Sue stories are just fine and carry on churning that same old stuff again and again?
Is the m/m market ruining promising new authors instead of nurturing them?
I'm about halfway through my third m/m short story now. I'm getting to the point where everything's so good between the two heroes that something awful now has to happen. I call this the Big No-No. So far everything I've written in this genre has a moment like this - a place where misunderstandings or bad choices separate the characters, forcing them to face up to their shit. It's written to be sad, heart-rending, perhaps a little infuriating and most of all, inevitable.
But has anyone else noticed that many m/m stories don't HAVE these moments? Some m/m stories just seem to involve two hot guys meeting, dating, having sex three or four times and then deciding to stay together? I guess these would technically be 'slice of life' stories, that instead of following a dramatic structure just aim to give a snapshot of someone's existence...except that slice of life stories wouldn't generally be tied up in a neat little bow at the end like most of these stories are.
Some stories - like for example Vic Winter's 'Cinnamon Buns' which I just read - really make this work by making it about the slice of life, showing us the hero changing, learning a new job and finally falling in love. There doesn't need to be a dramatic No-No because that's not what the story is about. It's about a journey, not about the relationship itself.
But sometimes when you read an m/m story which refuses to depict any conflict, any tough choices, any real emotional depth...doesn't it all feel a little pointless? Like you're reading a piece of fanfiction specifically written to display two character's hotness without actually revealing anything new about them because we all already know everything there is to know about Harry/Draco, Aragorn/Legolas etc. already? Except this isn't fanfiction.
Stories like these have everything go right for the hero and hero, no matter what. Often the characters are presented with what should be tough situations, but they breeze through without a blink, without any internal questioning, purely to show how wonderful and perfect they are. If someone opposes them, that person will be a one dimensional bigot. If someone gets in their way that person will be crazy or evil. Black and white. And any other characters in the story (who aren't the one dimensional bigots) will always agree to just how wonderful they are as well.
I know why these stories get published. It's the same reason I've managed to get interest from an e-publisher so quickly. Demand for m/m stories is huge and still growing. If you write reasonably well (grammatically, engagingly) you can probably get published, because editors need more stories than they're actually getting. But doesn't this high demand mean that promising authors who should be developing their craft, learning their trade, getting strong editorial feedback, even getting rejected and trying hard to improve their work so it doesn't happen again - instead think that their Mary-Sue stories are just fine and carry on churning that same old stuff again and again?
Is the m/m market ruining promising new authors instead of nurturing them?
Tuesday 16 February 2010
Just how Slutty is Slutty?
Okay, so my first m/m story (which was recently accepted by Torquere Press) features long time friends falling into bed with each other about half an hour after they figure out they're both gay. My second story, which is with another publisher at the moment, features a couple that bump into each other two or three times, then go out on a date and have sex that night. And the story I'm working on now features a couple who meet each other in the park and are having sex within a couple of hours.
Now - let's be honest here - if these were m/f couples, we'd be thinking 'Huh, that's kinda slutty'. I mean, no one cares, in an erotic story, but still...we'd be thinking it, right? And there's no way it would happen in any kind of a traditional romance. Half your traditional romance stories still have virgins for heroines, and a good chunk of the remainder have heroines who've never had an orgasm until the hero's magic penis waves in their direction.
This has always bothered me, even in my teens when I still was a virgin. It's such an unfair, archaic double standard. We're all supposed to be fighting against it, and yet publishers keep putting that stuff out there, which means a lot of women must be buying into it wholesale.
And I think it's part of the reason that I - and so many, many women - like m/m stories so much. Sex. Lots of sex. Muscular, sweaty, man on man sex and best of all: NO GUILT. So long as those guys suit up (I hate stories where gay guys go bareback unless they're damn sure they've been monogamous and tested multiple times first. And even so...come on, people, you've heard of window periods, right? Just use a fricking condom) it's fine with us if they get each other off minutes after they walk into the same toilet in a club, without even exchanging names. I love to read about sluts in m/m fiction, so long as they fall in love and reform before the end. A story that starts with a hero having meaningless, hot sex with someone in the back room of a club and walking away whistling hooks me every time. I want to be that guy. I want to be able to walk into a club and get a guaranteed orgasm in an hour or less (women who tried sex that way in clubs will know that orgasms are rarer for girls in the straight club scene than virgins in the gay club scene).
And yet...aren't we falling into a kind of prejudice of our own by buying into this? Are we all in so much of a rush to get our rocks off that we're rushing our characters too? I have a couple of gay friends (well, out gay friends) and they're quiet, sweet, genuine guys who are in long term relationships. And they're young - twenties and thirties. According to most gay fiction these guys should be having a lot of meaningless sex right about now, but I'm pretty sure my best gay friend would be about as keen to get down on his knees for a stranger in a club bathroom as I am (right now, anyway).
So...maybe in my next story I'll try to give the characters a bit of a longer courtship. Draw things out a little. Wait for the sex.
Or maybe I'll carry on writing about sluts. I do love 'em. Sigh.
Now - let's be honest here - if these were m/f couples, we'd be thinking 'Huh, that's kinda slutty'. I mean, no one cares, in an erotic story, but still...we'd be thinking it, right? And there's no way it would happen in any kind of a traditional romance. Half your traditional romance stories still have virgins for heroines, and a good chunk of the remainder have heroines who've never had an orgasm until the hero's magic penis waves in their direction.
This has always bothered me, even in my teens when I still was a virgin. It's such an unfair, archaic double standard. We're all supposed to be fighting against it, and yet publishers keep putting that stuff out there, which means a lot of women must be buying into it wholesale.
And I think it's part of the reason that I - and so many, many women - like m/m stories so much. Sex. Lots of sex. Muscular, sweaty, man on man sex and best of all: NO GUILT. So long as those guys suit up (I hate stories where gay guys go bareback unless they're damn sure they've been monogamous and tested multiple times first. And even so...come on, people, you've heard of window periods, right? Just use a fricking condom) it's fine with us if they get each other off minutes after they walk into the same toilet in a club, without even exchanging names. I love to read about sluts in m/m fiction, so long as they fall in love and reform before the end. A story that starts with a hero having meaningless, hot sex with someone in the back room of a club and walking away whistling hooks me every time. I want to be that guy. I want to be able to walk into a club and get a guaranteed orgasm in an hour or less (women who tried sex that way in clubs will know that orgasms are rarer for girls in the straight club scene than virgins in the gay club scene).
And yet...aren't we falling into a kind of prejudice of our own by buying into this? Are we all in so much of a rush to get our rocks off that we're rushing our characters too? I have a couple of gay friends (well, out gay friends) and they're quiet, sweet, genuine guys who are in long term relationships. And they're young - twenties and thirties. According to most gay fiction these guys should be having a lot of meaningless sex right about now, but I'm pretty sure my best gay friend would be about as keen to get down on his knees for a stranger in a club bathroom as I am (right now, anyway).
So...maybe in my next story I'll try to give the characters a bit of a longer courtship. Draw things out a little. Wait for the sex.
Or maybe I'll carry on writing about sluts. I do love 'em. Sigh.
Monday 15 February 2010
Virgin Blogger
That's right. I'm a virgin. Be gentle with me.
My very first m/m novelette has just been accepted by the Mighty Torquere Press as a single shot. Hence this new blog, just in case anyone wants to know more about me when the shot comes out because Lord knows I'm on Google the minute I want to find out more about an author (and how frustrated I get when there's nothing to find).
I'll be providing links and more details as I get used to this whole blogging thing, and as the shot actually comes out. Some details now, in case anyone is interested:
Love Bites
'Love Bites' begins with James McKinley sitting down in an expensive French restaurant on Valentine's night with his long-time girlfriend. He has a ring in his pocket and a plan to make his dream of settling down and raising a family come true. Instead he ends up breaking up with Beth and being brought face to face with a part of himself that he has done his best to suppress since college: the part that wants to be held down and fucked hard, by another man.
James doesn't know if he can ever share the truth with his conservative family or his straight-as-a-dye best friend and business partner Ethan. So in an attempt to figure out if his fantasies are the real thing or just a phase, he heads out to Love Bites, a local gay club, hoping to get some action. Instead he gets the shock of his life - namely Ethan, who practically dry-humps him on the dance floor before realizing who he is.
Carried away by their long ignored sexual chemistry the pair share a blistering night of sex. But in the morning when they're nearly discovered by James' mother, James rejects Ethan and breaks the other man's heart. It's not long before James' realizes that he's made an awful mistake, but now he has to figure out how to come out to everyone his knows - and get the man he loves to forgive him so they they can work on the dream together.
I've been an avid m/m reader for about two years. First came an obsession with anime and manga, then, while reading Ouran High School Host Club, it struck me how intensely hot it was when Tamaki and Kyoya flirted with each other. It also struck me as a little strange that something like that should be in an ostensibly shojo manga, so I did a little research and discovered a whole new genre: shonen-ai, or yaoi. And I was HOOKED.
Very shortly I ran out of yaoi manga to read, and then a LiveJournal Pal suggested I try reading m/m fiction. I bought and downloaded Evangeline Anderson's 'The Assignment' and once again I was hooked. While many things about the genre made me cringe before I even realised there were terms for such cliches (Gay for You, non-con) there were many other things that I loved.
For two years I was content simply to read an enjoy the m/m genre, despite being a published author in another field (no, not telling). Then one day I had An Idea.
It was one of those ones that hammers at the back of your skull with a pick-axe until you pay attention so - just for fun - I sat down and wrote it. I'd never written any kind of a short story before (I'm normally a novelist) and found it a revelation how much happiness it brought me to craft a novelette in under 20,000 words. The just for fun story turned out to be Love Bites.
Reading it through, I felt a tingle of excitement. It might have started out as just for fun, looking at it now it suddenly seemed more. It was no Josh Lanyon short story (bows down) but...well, it seemed pretty good to me. So, shaking with excitement, I submitted it to Torquere Press.
Frankly, being used to the way that print publishers operate, I didn't expect to hear anything for months, if ever, despite the friendly assurance on the website that you'd get a reply in 6-8 weeks. Imagine my shock when barely two weeks later I got a positive reply! They wanted it! They LIKED my little story! They wanted to PUBLISH IT! Hurray!
And that brings us up to this morning. Me thinks it's time to get to work on another m/m story now.
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